The gladiator takes to the arena

In their hundreds they came out today wanting to be in at his fall, and yet at the same time they cheered and clapped him, laughed with him even. The crowd built up over an hour waiting expectantly for the gladiator to strike out into the arena and then slow clapped as we finally made his entrance…

Who else other than Winston Peters, the Alcibiades of New Zealand politics, could inspire such atypical fervour in the normally apathetic student body at the University of Canterbury – even though he is currently rating at less than 2% in the polls?

This is after all a student body whose political consciousness is at such catatonic levels that only in a recent students’ association by-election the turnout barely made it into three figures.

Yet this afternoon, compelled perhaps by a peculair sense of schadenfreude at least 400 students congregated on the C Block lawn to hear Winston Peters do verbal battle with the hecklers and engage in his trademark tub-thumping oratory against the dark forces (in the form of the National and ACT parties as well as the Serious Fraud Office) now arraigned against him.

Having seen off the placard-carrying members from the UC chapter of ACT on Campus within the first 5 minutes of his rhetorical onslaught, Winston – despite the odd moment where he appeared to lose his train of thought – had the crowd in the palm of his hand.

“When was the last time you called your grandma?” he asked them. Few of the sheepish post-adolescents present volunteered to put up their hands.

“I know what being a student is all about – the hedonistic party-going lifestyle,” he confided. “Well just remember your grandma – she’s sitting at home worrying about you, worrying about whether you’re going to make it in the world. But who’s looking out for her?”

“Just as well I’m there to look after your grandma – so you don’t have to!” said Winston as he proceeded to regale the audience with the story of his heroic endeavours on behalf of the super-annuitant lobby.

But he could also be their champion as well. Perhaps. Maybe.

All they had to was get Uncle Winston over the 5% hurdle and back into parliament on November 8. If only they got out and voted.

“I know most of you will be more likely to be sitting in some café hungover, sipping lattes on election day. But your grandma will be out voting. Because she worries about the future, she worries about you. She has your best interests at heart.”

Just like your Uncle Winston does too.

UPDATE: for a rather different take on the afternoon’s proceedings, see this report on the ACT on Campus blog

Tags: Winston Peters